I'm officially looking for a new job

Monday, October 22, 2007

Condom manufacturer seeks Canadian volunteers to test products

THE CANADIAN PRESS

TORONTO - A condom company is looking for 1,000 volunteers to test its products and report back on their findings.

It opened the job competition Monday and will continue accepting applicants until Nov. 4.

"Applicants will be asked a series of questions to make sure they are a good fit for this dream job," the company said in a statement.

"Questions include how often do you use condoms? And why do you want to be a Durex condom tester?"

To get the job, the company is looking, in particular, for creative responses to the question about why they want to be a condom tester, Mare said.

"That'll be the primary way that we differentiate applicants from each other."

From www.durexcondomtester.ca

Name -- Dustin Christie

E-mail -- dustinc@ualberta.ca

City -- Edmonton

Province -- Alberta

Postal Code -- T6H 2N7

Date of Birth -- 11 January 1985

Gender -- Male

Tell us why you want to be a Durex condom tester?

I've had a lot of dreams, and, concurrently, a ylot of dream jobs. Most of them revolved around women. I wanted to be a gynecologist. I found I wasn't exactly smart enough for that. I wanted to be a gigolo. But I'm definitely not pretty enough for that. I wanted to be a hockey player. At first, just for the hockey. When I found out how much tail those guys get though, I was sure that this was the career for me. But I'm not very good at hockey.

I can't do any of these jobs, because I'm not good enough. However, I know my dick very well. We've been through a lot together. I consider it my best friend, and know that it's the only one I have that I will never lose touch with. We share a lot of common interests. This is important, because I think we have a common cause, Durex and I: We want to do whatever is best for my dick, and by extension all Canadian dicks. We have the same goal in mind, to make the best product out there; you guys do it for the money, I do it for my best friend.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I really hope you pick me, it'll be a dream come true.