I'm not scared of God. I'm scared of four letter words.

"I'm falling in love with you."

Ummm. Thanks?

Thanks. Thank God she texted this to me, or else that answer would have fallen right out of my mouth, and oral slips tend to make a helluva mess. This worries me in a very stereotypical kind of way. Why? I'm not sure. The only thing I'm sure of is that my stomach feels three sizes too small all of a sudden and it's forcing all of my stomach acid into my chest. My days consist of running between the rolaids and the bathroom, because my intestines have shrunk with the rest of my insides. This is insane. Why would she say that?

Don't get me wrong. I like my girl. In fact I would say that we've entered a whole new phase of our relationship. I've moved from liking her to really liking her. That's huge, as far as I'm concerned. OK, look. I have witnessed and observed the habits and characteristics of these strange beasts we call "relationships" for some time now. From a safe distance, like my bedroom window across the street (Hi Mrs. McCauley, that's a lovely blouse) and even first-hand, and the only thing that I know for sure is that the utterance of that little four letter word marks the pinnacle of the relationship. You really can't feel much more for a person than love. If you could, they would have made up a new word for it. And I really like my girl. I just want to enjoy the ride a little longer before things get serious and become a whole lot less fun, because the end is marked with a four letter word.